My most current obsession is a song by Lady Gaga : speechless

This song has been on constant repeat on my ipod and laptop for the past week. I love the edgy-ness, melancholia  and sadness in the lyrics and tune. I am absolutely obsessed. It is such a me thing to do when i find a song i love i tend to play it over and over and over AGAIN until i get so sick of it that i can;t bear to listen to it anymore. lol!!!…thats why my way of sucking the life out a song and taking it all for all its got 🙂

Anyways,  it is another damn cold day in london and i am stuck at home revising. I managed to make up an AMAZING study plan which in my point of view should be framed up just because it is pure brilliance BUT i HOPE to GOD that i will follow that plan. I am trying to throw out all of my bad habits and all the bad study techniques i had before so that i can really improve. The days are passing and the end is defnitely creeping up and i feel it. I never really truly understood the feeling of failure. I guess i have never felt such agonizing failure till last January whereby i actually  felt like taking my life. But ul be glad to know, that feeling has passed. Its the shame and feeling of submission that really did it for me. Especially when everyoone was doing so well and you only have your own pityful self to hang on to. It was hard to say the least but i lived and learned.

My outlook on life now is significantly brighter . Though i am slightly more passimistic and less naive about my future. It is an amazing thing how far a prayer can go. Every night i ask GOD to help me out and he tends to do it may it be a way i did or did not expect it! I believe that GOD is universal but religion forces people to segregate. Can you imagine living in a world where everyone had one religion aiming for the same thing? I can’t! Just seems so out of reach.  I mean i grew up in a catholic household and that is how it has always been for me and all that i knew but then i had to force myself to start growing my heart for the very many different people that  have come into my life that didn’t necessarily believed in what i did. Even in my family, we had to grow a bigger heart even if did  it hurt. To be honest, i can be quite biase towards my religion because i believe it in so much and i would fight back if someone questions me but then if i turn it around to  someone who is also so believing in their own faith . how can you question them? We have to stop playing the victims and believing  that everyone that doesn;t agree is automatically attacking us. First off, I believe that if your faith was strong enough , ugly religious comments will not chnage the way you feel or thought.

At the end of the day , we are all human beings trying to find love and a place to call home. I would rather have my family than choose religion because i believe that FAITH is personal . For me there is a big difference between religion and faith . Religion is what you are told to want to do but Faith is what you want to do. You don;t have to start going around judging people for  who they are because if you do how are you any better? Of course, there are peeople who do go out and talk about GOD but my point is that  everyone is different and we all have the right to express ourselves in our own way. WHATEVER it is! There are things i  may not like or even completely agree with but as long as i know my path i shouldn’t judge because if do that then i am not staying true to myself.

Stand out! Be the change you want to see